VAWG, Pill Theory and Male Loneliness.

With the publication of Part Two of Lady Eilish Angiolini's independent inquiry, our recent White Ribbon Day and the 'Living in Limbo' report from Rape Crisis, it is easy to question what is actually being done to target violence against women and girls.

Basically, not a lot.

Lady Eilish Angiolini's independent inquiry Part Two.

In 2o21, Sarah Everard was abducted, raped and murdered by an off-duty serving police officer.

I am sure most of us can remember it all over the news, soon over-shadowed by media coverage of the vigil held in Sarah's honour, where women were arrested for breaking Covid-19 social distancing rules. Police reported to be intimidated by the number of individuals who attended, and the fact that women were shouting "arrest your own". With hindsight of being out of the pandemic, it is even more infuriating that women were being arrested for 'breaking social distancing rules' whilst protesting for the rights to be safe on our streets, whilst those in power were having affairs and dinner parties with no social distancing in sight.

Part two of the Lady Angiolini inquiry focuses on police culture, women's safety in public spaces and systemic failures highlighted by Sarah Everard's murder in 2021.

Angiolini found that efforts to try to achieve long-term change are met with a series of coordinated, short-term measures, powered by good will as opposed to proper funding. This will not work. Women will continue to be harmed.

This inquiry found that over the last three years 48% of women experienced an incident where they felt unsafe in public spaces due to the actions of another individual/s. For women aged 18-24, this went up to 87%, meaning almost 9 in 10 women had experienced feeling unsafe due to another person in a public space. Around three quarters of women aged 18-24 had specifically felt unsafe in a public space due to the actions or behaviour or a man or men.

Rape Crisis England and Wales Living In Limbo Report.

Rape Crisis published their second report, Living In Limbo which highlighted how the court system is failing, and re-traumatising victims of sexual violence. Here are some of the key findings of that report:

• the number of sexual offence cases waiting to go to court right now is 13,238. This is 66% higher compared to the number waiting at the same time in 2022.

• backlogs means that one in three rape trials end up being postponed at least once with some survivors having faced more than six trial postponements.

• the average time a survivor will wait before their trial is heard in court is 499 days, compared to 284 for other crimes.

So why have the backlogs become so severe?

1. years of overworking and poor working conditions has led to a shortage of barristers and judges.

2. poor court scheduling methods known as listing practices which see the listing of sexual offence trials as 'floaters' (not assigned a specific court room or date).

3. idle courts, where courtrooms go unused.

4. ineffective and inefficient trials.

What is being done?

In 2024 a report from the National Police Chief's Council stated that violence against women and girls is a national emergency in England and Wales. This is not just about sexual violence, but also domestic abuse, FGM, exploitation and 'honour-based' abuse to name some.

Labours 2024 manifesto pledged to halve violence against women and girls in a decade and intends to set out how it will do this in a new strategy, set to be published in summer 2025.

However, the Budget released in November 2025 did not mention VAWG once. The governments continuation of short-term funding for VAWG services is actively hindering their own commitment by undermining frontline work and support.

So, what does this mean?

The government, along with the Crown Prosecution Service who have offered their VAWG strategy 2025-2030, have failed to see the point. It is impossible to halve VAWG in a decade if you are not going to put funding into services. The CPS who are promising priority on increased casework quality and victim trust, are also completely missing the mark. They have stated that they will include a more victim-focused and trauma-informed approach, whilst seemingly not targeting the re-traumatisation that survivors have to go through due to 'floating trials' and backlogs.

No Jury.

For years, sexual violence support services have been calling for courts to scrap juries for sexual offence and rape cases. With the recent news of the 'swift and fair' plan, which will see cases with a likely sentence of three years or less heard by a Judge alone, these services are petitioning for sexual violence cases to be Judge alone.

The 'swift and fair' plan is, mainly, to target the court backlogs. However, both services and survivors believe sexual violence trial outcomes can be hindered by a jury.

At first you may think, well that is not fair for either defendant or prosecution. Juries are designed for a fair trial. Normal people picked from the electoral list to sit and come to an unanimous decision, with no reasonable doubt in their minds.

However, research has found that there has been 'reluctance on part of the juries to find young men guilty of rape even when they believed rape has been committed'. Research also shows that 'stereotypes about how rape victims are expected to behave remain prevalent in society- and by extension in juries'.

The Pill Theory.

The Red Pill is a term that comes from the 1999 film The Matrix, and has become a commonly used imagery for individuals describing their 'awakening' to some previously hidden 'reality'. Major male supremacist movements like to use this framework to describe their realisation that men do not have systemic power or privilege. Instead they realise the 'truth' that socially, economically and sexually, men are at the whims of women and feminist power.

The Black Pill theory believes that looks are genetically determined, and that women chose their sexual partners based purely on physical features. According to the Black Pill theory, whether a person will be an Incel is predetermined. This philosophy typically offers only two options for what to do with their new accepted reality:

1. Accept their fate as an Incel.

2. Try and change society for their benefit (which is mostly through acts of violence).

Minutes before his murder spree, Elliot uploaded a final chilling video to YouTube titled 'Elliot Rodger's Retribution', in which he spoke about his plans for the attack and expressed his hatred for women.

Black Pill's are also encouraged to either commit suicide or "go ER/be a hERo", referencing Elliot Rodger's 2014 murder spree that has been called an act of misogynistic terrorism.

Why are these men blaming feminism?

Extreme feminist views and misandry, which is a hatred for men, has made the word feminist leave a bad taste in many peoples mouths. However this is not just for men, with many women stating that they are not a feminist, but agree with beliefs such as equality. This may be due to extremist views distorting the true meaning of feminism, but also the toxic rhetoric around it.

An example of this, or many examples actually, can be taken by the likes of controversy-loving Piers Morgan. A 2019 headline from Piers Morgan reads 'don't you feminist snowflakes dare turn James Bond into a woman' and very recently, he sat on a morning talk show and made statements such as 'what is wrong with being tough and manning up' and blamed male loneliness on women 'saying things about the patriarchy'. The irony of him saying those two things in the same breathe is laughable.

It's not all extreme.

Incels, Red Pill, Black Pill and extremist views are important to be educated on and tackled by both women and men. However, it doesn't have to be all extremist views which are extremely damaging. Being a bystander, sexism in the workplace, misogynistic comments between friends are all things that can build into VAWG.

My local news posted on their social media just a few days ago about how the police 'look to address violence against women and girls'. The comments under this post were as follows:

"Guessing men and boys don't count?"

"What about male victims, or is that not the same?"

"It is not a priority for them to address violence against men, possibly because of the presence of female staff/officers/managers who clearly hold misandrist views and exhibit inappropriate sexualised conduct towards men"

...and they are only a few of many.

Failing to acknowledge, understand or emphasise, or not having an opinion on VAWG does not make you 'neutral', it makes you an enabler.

Men are quick to comment 'what about violence against men?', or notably, comments on posts around International Women's Day saying 'what about international mens day?'. As a side note I would like to mention how it was very recently International Men's Day, however I saw little posts, comments or support from men. It appeared to be mainly women, posting about and showing support to men. I saw some videos posted by companies, male support services and football clubs, however the comment section showed a lack of solidarity between men. It is hard to not get the feeling that men want to make things about themselves, until it is time to really speak about themselves...

The Male Loneliness Epidemic.

A relatively new term which I believe links back to the same systems which are failing women and girls. Research shows that loneliness is on the rise for both men and women, therefore, why does it seem to be affecting men more?

If you look closely enough, men experience higher rates of loneliness compared to women because of the patriarchal systems they have built. Men continue to buy into systems of control, which establish strict gender roles that define men as strong and superior, whilst mocking any signs of emotional vulnerability as feminine.

Most articles on male loneliness mention causes being not having a romantic partner, or a lack of friendships in which they feel comfortable talking about their emotions. The Men's Health Strategy stated its priority to combat alcoholism in men, with loneliness being one of the biggest reasons men turn to drink.

The biggest killer of men is suicide, and it is clear that there needs to be a lot of work around men's mental health and access to support. Waiting lists are long, services are under-funded, but men have also been historically conditioned to be 'strong' and to be embarrassed by their emotions.

I, amongst many others, do not believe that this is due to women, but instead the fact that men find themselves feeling lonely in a world which does not mirror the stereotypes they have created for themselves.

Services such as Andy Man's Club are amazing in breaking down stigma and promoting a safe place for men to meet up and talk. They have a sense of community and friendship, and promote men talking about their emotional wellbeing and forming friendships.

These unhealthy rhetorics of blaming women for male issues only further damages the work of stopping VAWG. As long as there is a narrative of women being blamed for issues they did not create, the more men and boys will believe it, and the more violence against women and girls will increase.

It also makes you think about how a jury, deciding the fate of a rapist, can have men sat amongst them with these views.

So, what can men do to tackle VAWG?

There needs to be a shift in asking what women and girls can do to keep themselves safe, and instead be asking what men can do.

Women and girls have been taught since childhood how to prevent becoming victim of harm from a man. Don't walk in the dark. Don't go out alone. Don't take short cuts. Don't get too drunk. Stick with your friends. Don't wear clothes that are too revealing. There are even videos giving advice on what to do if you are kidnapped.

Women and girls have been taught this for decades, however with the increase in VAWG, it is evidently not about what women should be doing, but about men.

What are men and boys being told what to do to keep women and girls safe?

• Call out disrespect. If you hear your friend say something misogynistic, call it out.

• Believe women. If a woman tells you they feel unsafe, or something has happened to them, believe them.

• Be a bystander who acts. You see something whilst you're out which doesn't seem right, say something. Call the police. Make sure she is safe.

• Educate yourself and your mates. You may not even realise your 'jokes' can be enabling.

• Promote consent culture. Silence does not mean 'yes'. Saying yes after being pressured is not consent.

• Use your influence. What you say and do may change how others around you think. It is important to be a positive influence to other men around you.